Like a river, returning to the ocean

Here I was thinking I was returning home to a nice sunny West Australian Spring. I flew into Perth, West Australia early on the morning of the 16th of September. I was greeted by a smiling cousin and his little miniature daschund. It was extremely foggy that morning, we arrived late after circling around the city waiting for it to clear a little. The dense fog was sitting only 100-200 feet off the runway and I think it was a little bit of a warning of things to come. 

After being home for a week or two, I have found myself clouded by emotions and confusion about the direction I am headed. I had intentions to share a home, build a small business and settle in for the Summer in WA working at increasing awareness of the business, establishing new relationships and connections in the motorcycle industry and slowly getting a foot hold to have some sort of routine. After living a nomadic life for years, often with a lot of excitement and rarely any noticeable routine, I had begun to crave it a year or two ago. 

I was able to visit friends and family and had a comfortable place to stay near the town where I would be looking for my new home. But some circumstances had changed in my relationship, and we had to alter a few of our plans to look for a place we would share. It began a ripple in the water which has disrupted things and continually brought confusion about the exact path which it will lead us. I am confident it will work out, but for the meantime it has rocked the boat and means I’m unable to make choices for ‘us’. Not the perfect way to ground myself after returning home after such a massive adventure. 

In the back of my mind, there is a constant cause of discomfort regarding relationships and friendships in general. I was fortunate enough to have built some extremely close bonds with friends over seas in the years I’ve been travelling. It has always been a point of contention though when I return home. To build those same close bonds with those people who are ‘closest’ to you. Everyone knows life at ‘home’ is often very different. It has been well documented over the years by famous bloggers and world travellers who go off for months and years at a time on huge journeys. I knew returning would be different this time, the world has changed, people changed, I have changed. So how do you juggle your time and spend it with the people close enough to you? I think Ghandi said it best, the way that I often think, and the way I have consciously spent a lot of my recent life. 

“Action expresses priorities”. 

How anyone spends their time, is the best example of a person. For time is the most precious commodity. You cannot lie with time, and your actions are how you spend it. I’m by no means a guru on it. I just am carefully and aware of it’s value. I know I do often ‘waste’ time, but I have actually began enjoying doing simple things a lot more because I spend more time doing them, giving them more value. It sounds counter intuitive, but it makes me happy. I remember when I was 18 or 19 and I was living in a share house full of girls and everyone partied and had a great time. I specifically remember putting off doing my washing / laundry for as long as possible because I told myself I hated doing it. And, I remember doing it as fast as I could, so I didn’t waste my time. 

Being in Australia this time is very different, I’ve returned with new goals, a new attitude, a new mindset and I get to share it all with someone special to me. Whilst building our relationship has been by no means conventional, we spent most the time apart trying to keep in contact via social media, it is the way we have been able to make it work. 

Life ahead of me looks quite exciting, albeit quite clouded and confusing, but I think it’s important in life to really take each opportunity and find the positives in all the scenarios. I have began to try and control less in life, to listen to others more when listening is required. To teach when teaching is necessary. But to love, when love is essential.